I stare at the computer…

I stare at the computer, not realizing what and how to write after 1 whole year. Its not that I haven’t written, but not for myself since a very long time. People suffer from writer’s block, lack of confidence or time. I suffered from laziness. I was lethargic. I gradually felt that writing was a tedious task, it was like a duty, a big burden on my shoulders. Something that I kept postponing days after days after days, until my guilt started biting me inside out.

I was fidgety all the time, promising myself to write a few words the next day, but it never happened. Words and sentences cluttered my mind every waking hour, but I did not feel that urge to document them. In the process, I lost several situations - instances that I would otherwise never ever recall further in life. There was no inspiration, no motivation; no instances that could persuade me to the very fact that the ultimate aid to my restlessness was to restart what I enjoy the most. Write. All, except a couple of my friends, busy with their own lives after college, forgot that this indolent being was wasting away her gift to more mundane things around her.

A struggling bollywood scriptwriter whose zeal exceeds the precincts of human mind, and another of my close friends whose struggles with the vagaries of life exceeds his penchant for living, took precious time out to consistently push me to the wall.
Today, at 11 in the night, as I was staring into blank space (like always) to kill time, somehow I suddenly thought that I could not take it anymore. Out of nowhere the drive was back, the heady rush when your fingers itch to touch the keypad, the craving to match your sentences with your thought pouring in, the excitement of analyzing and reanalyzing your own creation over and over again, breaking away from each constraint that real world imposes.

Today I realize that words are like fairy tales. They take you into a different world where language is life. You lose yourself in the abyss, and do not want to get out ever. Words create magic. Words kill malice. Words are empowering. For anyone, who still does not realize what I mean to signify, start writing. You are sure to attain nirvana, again and again...